Letting Go, with Love: A Father’s Goodbye

This week, I said goodbye to my first son as he left for university in Maine, USA. We live in Japan. And now, the Pacific Ocean lies between us.

Even though I’ve watched him grow into a thoughtful, capable young man, nothing truly prepares you for the moment you help him pack his bags, give him one last hug, and watch him walk toward his future.

He’s ready. I can see it in his quiet confidence, his excitement, and his independence. And still—my heart is full, and yes, a little heavy.

As fathers, we often carry the unspoken role of being steady and strong. We provide guidance, set the household's rhythm, and strive to model what we hope they’ll one day carry forward. For the past 18 years, my journey as a father has been a delicate balancing act—High nurturance, high aspiration, and low authority. Encouraging, not commanding. Inspiring, not controlling. Loving without needing to be feared.

But now… the rules of the game have changed. And I’ll be honest—I don’t quite like the new rules. Not yet. This latest chapter demands more silence than instruction, more waiting than doing. It asks me to trust more and intervene less. It’s unfamiliar terrain, and I’m still finding my footing.

As parents, we give instructions, set the rhythm of the household, and make the calls. For many years, I’ve played that role—the decision-maker, the guide, the one with answers. And as the Dean of Bowdoin College reminded the group of parents, who were clearly emotional and a bit lost (I am talking about myself, obviously), it’s time to shift. From commander-in-chief to adviser. From directing to quietly supporting.

This, too, is part of the letting go..

On the day of his university orientation, I gave him one last hug—Simple, strong, and full of everything words couldn’t say. And then, just like that, he was gone.

Later, I spoke with my wife back in Japan. We shared the emotions of the moment—the pride, the sadness, the quiet sense of awe. Together, even from across the ocean, we held space for this shift in our family. It reminded me of what yoga teaches us:

That presence is powerful. That letting go is a practice. And that love, when held gently, expands—not diminishes—with distance.

As a father and a yoga therapist, I’ve come to understand that parenting is also a path of surrender. Not giving up, but giving space. Trusting that the roots we’ve nurtured will hold—even as our children stretch toward the sky.

To my son: May this new chapter bring you challenge, wonder, and growth. To my wife: Thank you for holding this space with me, even from afar. And to all the fathers out there navigating these quiet goodbyes—You’re not alone.

Letting go is love in its most spacious form.